7/29/15

Rides 7/29: I'm not a magician, Roger

I dedicate this blog post to DE and his/her misguided quest to try to get this blog to 36th in the rankings. It's not gonna happen, but I appreciate the effort.

Has anyone ever noticed how it gets hot in the summer and people complain about it all the time because it's really something to complain about because it's awful and then other people complain about the complainers because they're like 'what did you expect, it's summer, deal with it' and other people ask rhetorical questions about noticing this in the first place because he has no other way to start the text of the blog post? It's too hot, even in the morning.

Do you like foreign tourists like the National Mall? I sort of wonder. I'm not sure if my continued underwhelmedness is a result of familiarity, but I try to be objective about these things and I don't know if I'd really be impressed by the space, if let's say, I was comparing it to other famous-y, tourist-y national-y spaces. Yes, the Capitol is quite impressive, as is the Monument and the Lincoln, but would they be any less impressive on a slide show? I just don't know. I ride through the space everyday and I just feel, I don't know, ennui-y about it. Remind me to accost a foreigner about this some time. Some time before it's all underwater. Then I'd have to ask the scuba tourists and it'd involve all kinds of pointing and hand gestures and that sounds complicated. Unless the underwater tourists are dolphins and then it'd be all EEEEK EEEEK EEEEEK and like, how the heck am I supposed to make any sense of that? I don't even think they'd even get the idea of a Reflecting Pool. The dolphins tourists would simply not get it.

Yeah, it's been one of those kinds of days.

I might've Cat 6-ed a yamulked CaBist on M Street. If so, I dropped him before Washington Circle, a circle so bad that George Washington ranks it even more embarrassing to his reputation than the Battle of Brooklyn Heights. Why did L'Enfant hate cars so much? Why?

Piazza della Casa Biancha (fun fact: I have no idea if that's actually Italian, a language that I only know from pizza menus and Nintendo games) was closed so I went to H Street to 15th and then took G Street across town to 11th to E and then up and around Columbus Circle, a circle so bad that Christopher Columbus ranks it even more embarrassing to reputation than assuming the New World. Why did McMillan hate cars so much? Why?

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